Shortly after sharing my blog with my facebook friends, I received a few questions from people who wanted to inquire more about specifics of my experience. This post will answer a few of these FAQ, I will address more in future posts.
First, I have never conceived. I have been convinced several times, mostly in my first year of marriage, that I was pregnant, and have taken many home pregnancy tests, but have always come back negative. In fact, my first year of marriage, when I was still bright eyed and hopeful that I would get pregnant without any medical intervention, I was often convinced I was pregnant. However, within a day or two of taking the test, my period would start and my heart would sink into my chest. Because as much as I tried not to get my hopes up, even after a negative test, I would still believe, possibly the test was wrong. It never seemed real that I was not truly pregnant until my period came, often irregularly. But anyway, long story short, I have never conceived, which I think makes it harder because I wonder if I ever will be able to. Where on the other hand, if I had gotten pregnant and miscarried, it is a matter of finding why I am not able to stay pregnant, could be a hormone thing, chromosomal thing, etc. (Not to down play miscarriage, it is still a very real and difficult thing, but in my eyes, at least you are getting pregnant, at that point, it is then facing the challenge of staying pregnant.) But where I have never even conceived before, it makes me wonder if it is even possible for my body to become pregnant.
Second, my periods have always been irregular my whole life. Throughout the past 12ish years, I have experienced menstruation that has been two weeks to majority of a year in between, and last everywhere from two days to up to four months. On average, I would have 4-6 periods a year, lasting on average probably 10-14 days. When I was 17, I experienced my first multiple month period, and was concerned so I asked my mother to set up for me to see a doctor. It took about a month to get in to the OB/GYN. When I went to see him, he told me that there was a chance I did not ovulate, which at this point in my life was not a big deal as I was not sexually active or trying for children. But he was still concerned because having irregular periods that are so unpredictable increase my chances of uterine cancer in the future. He put me on a medication to regulate my periods, but warned that if I was not ovulating, would probably not induce ovulation. But since I was not trying to have kids, it was not a big deal. So starting at that point, I began having regular periods for the first time of my life.
Many of you probably think I am crazy that my first year I was so hopeful that I would get pregnant, although I knew there was a chance I was not ovulating. But part of me wanted to believe that everything was working properly. And I wanted to give it a try before seeking help, on the chance that it could happen on its own. Additionally, most doctors require a minimum of a year of trying prior to receiving treatments, and I knew that so I figured even if I wasn't ovulating, there was still a purpose in trying on our own for the first year.
Anyway, there goes my attempt to try and answer some FAQ I have been coming across since sharing my story with the world. Thanks for your love and support! It means so much to me! -- Ashlee Ann
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