Etiquette when Discussing Children with Women

Sorry it has been so long, I have been super busy with work, since I have been picking up at least once extra shift a week. Considering they are 12-hour shifts, and graveyards, it eats up a lot of time, and energy.

But anyway, I was thinking about it at work last night and I think I need to do a post on this topic.

As a women who has been hoping and struggling with starting my family, I hate when I get the question, "When are you going to start having kids?" First of all, that is an extremely personal question to ask someone. Second, when someone is struggling like I have to conceive, it is like a dagger to the heart every time someone asks. Asking someone if they have kids, it totally fine, especially if you are getting to know them for the first time, but then prying when they say they don't have any is inappropriate.

And don't think it is just me, I have talked to my friends that also struggled. The feeling seems to be pretty much unanimous.

Lately I have tried to make a joke out of it. By replying, "Well, we don't believe in kids." Or one I heard from a friend, (but have never had the guts to actually use), "Hopefully 9 months from today." Sometimes, if I feel the person is going to respect my privacy after my reply, sometimes I will say something like, "Hopefully soon," or "We would love to have kids, it just has not happened yet."

Don't get me wrong, it does not bother me when my close friends or family ask me prying questions like that, but I know them on such a deeper level. And most of them ask how treatment is going because they already know what is going on. But I have had some people ask me questions like this when it is literally our very first conversation we have ever had before. REALLY???

Additionally, not that I am in this situation yet, but I feel that same way about asking if someone is going to have anymore kids, or when they plan on having more kids. It is totally personal and between the man and woman. What if they want more, but can't for health reasons, or infertility. Or maybe they are just done with the number they have. Really, it is none of your business to ask a question like that.

At least all of this is my opinion. Hopefully no one was offended by this post. But know I love all of you, just letting you know so hopefully in the future you will be a little more careful!